MERDE.

SHIT.
This week has been a fiasco sprinkled with little moments of greatness. Classes started this week. They posted our class schedules like, Friday afternoon, so the past few days have been a flurry of trying to mash together three different kinds of class schedules in order to get all of the complementary courses I need in.

I had to resort to taking pictures of the posted classes, because in one location two of the kinds of classes are posted one with : day, time, classroom, the other only with a course code. Then you have to treck to another building to look up the course code and copy the information, still without a description of the class. Basically I've just shown up to these unknown classes mostly because they happened to fit my schedule, and hope for the best. I've been lucky. I've found a really interesting Algerian Police Novel class, and a comparison class between Renaissance Art and Literature.

Those are the high moments. Then I hit a rut like today, where I walk to school, only to find the class has been moved (to a time and date that eliminates yet another potential complimentary class) - though they still havn't told us the classroom, and then had to walk home again. I popped into yet another university building to try and sign myself up for a Intro. German class, and find out that they started almost a month ago, continue until June, and ask for 125euros for the course (basically that I'd be behind indefinitely). So depressing. At first I just got angry. Now it's just a kind of resigned lethargy. I don't want to do anything, because anything always requires so much energy (aka comparing photos snapped of courses, comparing the schedules, actually finding the classrooms since there's usually no building indicated...), and usually lead to disapointment: classes cancelled, moved, or non-existant.

Then I got my marks back today. It was like a slap in the face. Somehow I went from getting a 17 in comprehension orale to an 11,5 (average of 13,7), and a 14,5 in comprehension ecrite to a 9 (average of 11,75)???? How could I possibly be regressing so badly? The worst part is I have no idea who to talk to about this, because the teacher's know just about as much as us, and the secretaries are all crocodiles ready to tear the heart and gull bladder out of any student who so much as dares step into their office.

AND the IIEF is trying to offer us complementary courses that they offered last semester to the french group four levels below ours. At first that really bothered me (that's like the difference between being able to hold a conversation or being able to make a full, grammatically correct sentence), but after seeing my marks ... who knows, maybe it's what I should be taking.

I seem to recall our supervisor telling us we need at least a 14 to get the credits. The thought of going back to Canada with anything less but the full slew of credits I was supposed to get here makes me want to break things (especially IIEF things). If I can't get these credits I will have to honestly rethink my entire degree, I'm staying five years as it is.

My self confidence is entirely shattered. How can I pass these courses when last semester's marks were rat shit???

I don't know how to do this.