Titty-Tats

TATTOOS.

Have been contemplating a tattoo - don't freak out, it will be lovely and tasteful. In the meantime, here are plenty of tattoos that I came across in my Google Search that are either interesting or just plain strange.

You have to admit this is kind of awesome even though its tragic that this guy will have this on his chest for the rest of his life....




























Individually, all of these would probably be cool, but all at once makes it just seem like she couldn't make up her mind!






Eh... I'll find more later. I really should be studying for exams.... :-( x a million

Update: My Meat Meanderings

WELL. Funny how interested everyone is in meat these days. I have to say two years ago I wouldn't have given it a second thought, let alone blog about it, but now my partner and I have had to come up with a whole plan of how to work towards "Happy Meat".

After reading Catherine Friend's book, I expected the process to be long, drawn out and fraught with disappointment. The results we found were almost laughably easy. I drew up a list to put on our fridge of our "Happy Meat Goals". It went like this:

1) Talk to farmer at the ******* Farmer's Market
Questions to ask:
Are they locally raised and "finished" cattle?
Where are they slaughtered?
What percentage of their meals consist of grain, and what grass?
How much access to pasture do they have?

2) Farmer's Market - is there anyone that sells eggs or chickens?
Are the chickens caged?
If they're supposedly "free range", how much time do they actually get to spend outside? If they are kept in a barn, how many chickens are kept in what size of barn?
How are they slaughtered?

3) Research meat sold at the Save Easy.
Who is the source for this meat?
Where are the animals taken for slaughtering?

4) Purchase "Happy Meat"
Must be locally and humanely raised.
Small conventional/organic/pasture farm.

......
After creating this little poster for myself in an excellent move towards organized-goal-setting-behaviour, my partner walked down to the Farmer's Market that week and talked to the local farmer, owner of Star Dust Farm in New Brunswick.

In a matter of minutes goals 1 through 4 were accomplished, as this farmer raises cattle, hogs and lambs in the pasture, raises chickens free range (in the barn for the winter, then outside in the summer) and has his animals slaughtered locally.

All that really needs to be done is to visit his farm at some point in the summer, and maybe enquire further into where his animals are slaughtered.

More ethical, responsible global citizen ..... funny how become a more responsible (and ethical) global citizen almost always means embracing the local businesses. Oxymoronic isn't it? Regardless, I feel better already.

Happy meat, here I come!

Latest and Greatest

Its been almost a year since I half heartedly made my New Year's resolutions to be more green. I'm happy to say I still only very rarely purchase plastic bottles (though I must admit, I buy the large plastic milk jugs in the Maritimes because they're 4L and it seems a waste to buy twice the necessary amount of carton just to avoid plastic), I will eat meat somewhere around 2-3 times a week TOTAL. Chickpeas and kidney beans have greatly supplemented my diet. Hankies have up until this point been largely erroneous after coming back from France (probably because I was no longer practicing outside in the rain in January), and I haven't bought any micro-beaded exfoliants (I even raided my parents' bathroom cabinet and disposed of what sea-creature killers we had).

Speaking of meat though I would like to recommend the latest and greatest on my reading list this year - right up there with The World Without Us in terms of chanigng-my-world-outlook-forever-and-making-me-change-my-lifestyle-and-blogging-about-it-NESS. My latest and greatest this year is: The Compassionate Carnivore by Catherine Friend.

(photo taken from www.elephantjournal.com)

This book was like a wake up call. Its not preachy, it discusses some difficult issues but issues we need to be aware of as consumers (and she doesn't beat your around the head with it either).

The biggest thing for me was what she said about waste. According to her calculations (and she footnotes everything, including these calculations, I like that - you can actually see where she gets her information if you don't like it) at LEAST 7,500 cows, 18,000 hogs and 1 million chickens are slaughtered in the U.S every day and then basically go in the garbage (Friend, 57). The meat expires in the store, or gets wasted at restaurants, or gets scraped out of our old tupperware - but its all just waste. That's not to tell people "don't eat meat" because I like meat, you like meat, our entire human species has been eating meat from day one - what she, and what I'm saying is, we have to realize that this isn't just food.

These animals have their lives taken in order to feed us. It would be massively disrespectful to go and throw that life in the garbage, or scrape it off your plate because you're full. As beings that respect that death and cherish life we should at least have the decency to use every last single bit so that those deaths shouldn't be for nothing!!! I tell you, when I'm cooking meat now, its a precious thing - nothing is to be wasted, or go uneaten or left on my plate. I only cook as much as I know for sure will be eaten, and I'm going to try my best never to let meat go to waste.

We never think of that. We think of the money going to waste, the time going to waste that went into cooking it, but never the animal who died to give it to us. We need to rearrange the way we think and realize that its not just money or corporations or labels but living things that we're dealing with here. And we should treat them with the respect they deserve.

Aphra Behn and Going Back to School

The first day back!

If nothing else, university is a wonderful place to get inspired. No wonder we're seeing a societal trend where people accumulate degrees!!! Had two of my English classes today. Enjoyed them immensely.

I met the woman I want to be in 15 years, a professor for one of my second year English courses. Her vocabulary is immense (she used the word "draconian" to describe her marking style), she refuses to communicate via e-mail ("I didn't become an English professor to talk to a machine") and during the first class banned all laptops from her lectures, insisting that since we're studying 16th and 17th century literature we should write everything, to get more in tune with the works we're studying. (Photo credit: <http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Norton-Anthology-of-Literature-by-Women/Sandra-M-Gilbert/e/9780393930139>)

The other class covers literature by women up to the 20th century. This poem was one of my course readings, and I enjoyed it immensely. It made me laugh (how many poems written in 1684 can accomplish that?). Apparently the poet (Aphra Behn) is the first woman to have "lived by her pen" - essentially the first woman to live off of her written works. Quite a feat in the 17th century!

On Her Loving Two Equally
I
How strong does my passion flow,
Divided equally twixt two?
Damon had ne’er subdued my heart
Had not Alexis took his part;
Nor could Alexis powerful prove,
Without my Damon’s aid, to gain my love.
II
When my Alexis present is,
Then I for Damon sigh and mourn;
But when Alexis I do miss,
Damon gains nothing but my scorn.
But if it chance they both are by,
For both alike I languish, sigh, and die.
III
Cure then, thou mighty winged god,
This restless fever in my blood;
One golden-pointed dart take back:
But which, O Cupid, wilt thou take?
If Damon’s, all my hopes are crossed;
Or that of my Alexis, I am lost.

Behn, Aphra. "On Her Loving Two Equally." 1684. Gilbert, Sandra M. and Susan Gubar. The Norton Anthology of Literature by Women. 3rd ed. Vol.1. New York: Norton, 2007. 184-185. Print.

Forgive me, I need to brush up my MLA skills (and what a great way to review!).

Pretty racy wasn't she?

What Do You Mean 'I'm not ready?'

I'm starting to buck the normality of planning everything in one's life out down to a tee. Kind of funny really, since I'm a very practical person (perhaps too practical) - my parents were both bankers, what can I say? I've been raised to analyze, save money, prepare for the future, think ahead... But everyone's busy planning and preparing is starting to get to me a bit.

Sad story: Lady wants a baby. Her and her man decide to wait until they have a nice house. Wait until they have enough money put away, waiting, waiting, waiting for the "right time". One day she looks in the mirror and she's closer to 40 than she was to 30, and the clock is ticking. Her man loses his job - now where do they stand?

We've been getting pregnant for hundreds of thousands of years. We were CAVEWOMEN when we were getting pregnant - back when giant cats and animals were hunting us, and all we could really do was put pointy sticks together to protect ourselves, and hope that we would get fed sometime that week... So why is it now that before having kids, everyone HAS to have paid the mortgage, saved up boat loads of money and bought out BabiesRus? We've lost sight of the whole reproduction process and turned it into this big défit that makes babies The Ultimate Nightmare. Whatever happened to getting pregnant when you got pregnant and just being happy to have a baby...?
I guess my point is we've started building up all these standards of what wealth and security and responsibility is supposed to mean that we've lost sight of the essential - hundreds of thousands of years ago women were giving birth in caves, where they didn't have epiderals, or c-sections or a 10 year plan and look where we are today? We've overpopulated the planet?!?! Surely just about anyone can do better than pointy sticks and nooks in a cliff - so if you want a baby, just get pregnant already, and worry about the mortgage when you're 40 and can't have children anymore.

Hometown Glory

Hometown Glory

by Adele

I’ve been walking in the same way as I did
Missing out the cracks in the pavement
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet
“Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I can call?”
“No and thank you, please Madam. I ain’t lost, just wandering”

Round my hometown
Memories are fresh
Round my hometown
Ooh the people I’ve met
Are the wonders of my world

[......]

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque
I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades
I like it in the city when two worlds collide
You get the people and the government
Everybody taking different sides

Shows that we ain’t gonna stand shit
Shows that we are united
Shows that we ain’t gonna take it
Shows that we ain’t gonna stand shit
Shows that we are united

(http://www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com/song-lyrics/hometown-glory-lyrics-adele)

This song makes me think of being home again: "I've been walking in the same way as I did" - as if I were a different person walking in the same body, along the same roads and paths... the old me and the new me at the same time.

"You get the people and the government/Everybody taking different sides/Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit/shows that we are united/shows that we ain't gonna take it" What better way to describe the political climate in Iran right now?

Anyway when I hear this song it makes me think of coming back, of the current events that welcomed me home, of being back to everything I ever knew and fighting not to forget everything I now know.

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Went to the book store today for the first time in about a year. I haven't really let myself buy too many books because I knew they were either going to have to stay in Canada or that I'd have to drag them halfway across the world with me. So naturally this was the first time I was really able to spoil myself and get a whole bunch of stuff.

Without even realizing it I kind of put together an amalgam of stuff that I'd like to think represents the different facets of the person I've become - here's what I ended up buying;

Puppies for Dummies by Sarah Hodgson

The Ages of Gaia: A Biography of Our Living Earth by James Lovelock

Thanks for Coming: One Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm by Mara Altman

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

I was pretty interested in the book by Mara Altman because she's a 26 year old with a journalism degree that went on this kind of "spiritual" quest in search of her own sexuality - not entirely unlike A.J. Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically, in which he searches for a better understanding of religion. I feel like these kind of books are becoming more and more common, and I must say that I enjoy reading something about an actual person's discoveries or understandings on life, rather than that of a fictional character. Its very much like following a dedicated (read: not me) blogger - you can relate to them, you know that somewhere out there, this person is existing, living their life.

I must admit that that's not the only reason I like those books - the second is that if they can do it, I can, right? Ever since I decided not to be a teacher and have been seriously

(image from http://guestofaguest.com/books/books-make-good-bedfellows-thanks-for-coming-by-mara-altman/)

considering journalism or editing as a career path, its like my mind just shut that part of itself off. I've been trying to figure out why, and I think its like candy when you're a kid: When you're little, candy's a treat, you only get to have some every once and a while. When you have your own job, your own money though, that changes - candy's not that special anymore since you can have it whenever you feel like it. I think writing is starting to get like that for me - when it was just a dream, something that would never come to pass, I loved to think about myself as an author someday, or a journalist. But now that my livelihood could very well depend on how well I put sentences together I'm scared that I'm not good enough, that I won't cut it.

All this time I've been trying to follow my dreams, but what do you do when those dreams are suddenly within your grasp? I'm almost too scared to reach out and grab for it.

Updates on Life

Since Amsterdam I have:

Visited the South of France - Avignon, Arles, Marseille and Cassis.
Tried couch surfing for the first time in Avignon and had a blast.
Saw my first corrida (they didn't kill the bull) in Arles.
Hiked the Calanques of Cassis in Crocs. (alliteration...!)
Done so little school its too sad to be funny.
Had my first surprise birthday party (Thank you C, R and the MtA kids <3).
Had my first drunken karaoke surprise party (Thanks to Les MISS).
Visited family I hadn't seen for 14 years, and still felt like I was at home.
Played rugby in Belgium and partied in Brussels.

Man I should do more blogs like this. I've covered about 6 hours worth of blogging ;)

I'm Going to Miss the Skyline

I haven't written in ages. Now I kind of understand why people complain about their blogs, because you get this nagging little sense of guilt that you should be filling it for all the invisible web surfers that probably don't even read it and thus add more unnecessary stress to your life.

I just finished reading Kellen's blog and it made me want to write in mine. Funny how its always through reading other people's writing that the urge to write comes back to me. Must remember.

Today's my last day in Strasbourg. Tomorrow morning I catch the 06:45 train out to Paris to join my family for travels. I feel like the past two weeks of my life have been the conclusion to some kind of cheesy novel or maybe a sitcom, where everyone reflects about how far they've come in the last year.

I read over a bunch of letters my friends had written to me at the beginning of the year for my plane ride, all of them encouraging, telling me not to be sad that I was leaving, that it was such an amazing opportunity. I laughed a little while reading my own frailty between the lines - and I wonder if I'm at all the same person that stepped on that plane last September? I've changed so many of my perspectives on life.

The rush of words have stopped in my head, and unfortunately everything I try to write keeps getting muddled as I type it out, so I'm afraid that's all for today. Kind of sad, I missed writing in this thing.

Soon, soon, invisible web surfers, I promise.

Angry.

Mostly at myself. But waiting in line at Office Depot for twenty minutes (and for nothing!) doesn't help. Neither do classes run for idiots. (Phonetics class: "Repetez, Oh-Ou-AHH!!!!", Littératures déssinées class: 1 hr explanation of the following - Comic books = condensed novels.... REALLY GENIUS?!?! They should just hand me a PhD because my brain isn't made of mashed potatoes.)

I have been handicapped by the classes here. I can't write essays. I procrastinate. I don't do homework.

France has given me a lobotomy, and I handed them my brain on a platter.

Must.Try.Harder...

The Collective or Sub "Conscious"?

Weird moment today in class.

The teacher was discussing the Arts during the Renaissance, and the fact that actors would put on tragedies that corresponded with the tragedies of the time. Today, she said, they could put on a tragedy about earthquakes for example, as an allusion to the earthquakes in Italy.

Instantly I was reliving the dream I had last night, of being caught in an earthquake in the night, in a city that wasn't my own...

Truth be told I did have a newspaper yesterday, but I was reading all about the NATO summit. I merely glanced at the article about the Italian earthquakes, I didn't even get around to reading the sub heading or the text under the photograph.

So what is that? My subconscious pulling out a moment's thought from the day and turning into an entire logical and flowing dream? Or is there really such a thing as a collective consciousness, that we're all connected by this tiny fiber of awareness? Another thing, merely a detail that struck me, was the fact that my dream was set at night, not really the usual for me but nothing really out of the ordinary, but coincidentally the quakes started in the night on Sunday.

I'm not psychic, nowhere close. Its just that after suddenly remembering that dream in class today, I suddenly feel... connected. I know that I wasn't reliving what happened, because I was in a lake surrounded by apartment buildings (which you don't really see in cities) trying to keep from getting crushed by the falling buildings and debris. All I'm saying is that there are elements there - the flash of terror, the way the lights of the buildings look against the night sky, the screams...

Have you ever considered that? That maybe our dreams aren't just bits of hashed up things our subconscious feeds us while we're sleeping...? Maybe within those unintelligible narratives there are real fragments, albeit little ones, one someone else's consciousness. A moment, a thought, a memory that doesn't belong to you.

Maybe that's why so many people can't remember what it is they dream. Maybe we shouldn't.

[image from http://cs3143.k12.sd.us/year/menu.htm]

i amsterdam

[Work in progress because I'm a lazy bum]

Reminders to self: Van Gogh and journalism, Anne Frank House and museums, Kylie Minogue, Christian hostel, Red Light District, French Face = love, book store inspiration, missing street art exhibition, reminder to take notepad with oneself wherever from now on - finally understand writers, dichotomoy of neighborhoods...

Sunshine :-)

The power of the SUN!!! Not renewable energy, but in terms of happiness!!! Over the past few days everyone in Strasbourg has been reveling in it - and I've been trying to figure out its effect on my life and moods.

For example, there was a good month in between January and March where it just rained constantly. Honestly I couldn't bear it anymore, and I didn't realize it was the rain that was getting me down until the sun came out again for a day or two. I was so miserable whenever it came to doing anything - because I had to go outside, and rugby basically became a chore. NOW I remember why I love rugby again - its so much fun to run around and roll on the grass when its not too cold out and when the last rays of sun are hitting the uprights...

Another way I found the weather really effected me was during travels. As sad as it is to say I think (though I did enjoy myself) that Berlin would have made much more of an impression on me had it not been raining most of the time. I'm not complaining (because life isn't all sunshine and daisies, you gotta learn to enjoy the rainy days too), and Berlin was wonderful, but I know that the sunny days in Amsterdam really left me with this impression of being re-energized and invigorated by my travels.

I never really realized the effect sunshine had on my general outlook... Good thing I wasn't born in England or Ireland, imagine what a dour person I would have grown up to be???

[pictures are from Amsterdam trip]

Helicopters buzzing by my window....

I come back to Strasbourg and the first thing I see is cops. Everywhere. Then barricades. Then helicopters. Then buses with more cops.
They actually brought in police officers from all over France, because when I asked one of them how to navigate to my street with all the barricades, all he said was, "Ch'ais pas, ch'uis pas d'ici moi." (as in "débrouilles-toi dit donc!!!"). Thanks. Anyway it took me forever to get home. I'm going to bed.
All this because of the NATO summit. And tonight Stephen Harper ate at the restaurant my friend works at. Fancy that.

(photo from LaProvence.com "Echauffourées à Strasbourg:
12 militants anti-Otan interpellés", 2 avril, 2009)

AND Obama gave a speech today in Strasbourg. For free. And I MISSED it. I was on a bloody train all day.

I'm in a foul mood indeed.

So Sweet...

All of you people with low iron levels rejoice!!! Here's some of the best and sweetest news a blood donor could ask for:

Nestle Nesquik Plus contains 15% of your supposed daily iron intake (and for you health crazies, only 150 calories when mixed with milk).

What a great excuse to mix yourself a hot chocolate everyday!!!

(Image from http://lewebpedagogique.com/3moulins/2008/03/)

Winter Trip to Germany

Finally!
Sorry. There's nothing like another eminent trip to get ya to try and get the last one written up. In case y'all didn't know, I've got train tickets booked for Amsterdam Monday, and some more for Avignon and Marseille in two weeks for our spring break. Nothing like train tickets bought and paid for to make you feel the tinglies in your feet.... :)

So! Germany with A&U. I've decided to write it up in a special way.

Hameln
Historical:
The legend of the Pied Piper ("Rattenfanger"). Apparently in 1284 a strange man came to the town to rid them of their rats, and when the villagers refused to pay came back and stole all their children away. Apparently there is some kind of historic background to the legend, despite being widely known for the Grimm brothers version of the story. (Something to do with the city's inhabitants being called "children of the city", though from there I don't really know how the spinoff went...)

Favorites:

• the massive city theme of rats: a giant golden rat on the bridge, a rat/pied piper fountain, the rats painted along the city to guide you through the main areas, the various business affiliations ("Rattenfangerhaus" restaurant, "Leseratte" (german equivalent of bookwork) book store, sugar rats, shillacked bread rats at the tourist shops (I bought one)...etc, etc. A collective town effort, we'll say!
• the Pied Piper version of the Glockenspiel on the facade of the Hochzeitshaus
• the "pancake" house we went to for lunch, like a hybrid version of an omellette and a pancake, delicious!

Erfurt
Historical:
Being on the Eastern side of Germany, Erfurt was a glaring foil to most of the Western parts of Germany I've visited so far. Still in the process of recovering and building from all those years under the GDR, its interesting from that standpoint. I was also really interested in A's part in its reconstruction of infrastructure - what an accomplishment, to help a city get back on its feet! I loved visiting Germany with A&U because of all the personal ties they have with the country and the various cities. Also would like to thank A&U's friend Mr.H for giving us a tour of the city. (You guys laughed when I took this picture at the Thuringer, but look how gorgeous it turned out!)
Favorites:
The GRAFFITI!!! A street artist goldmine, hands down some of the best photos I've taken on the trip, if not all year. Have promised to send A&U pictures of the massive street art display I plan on making in my appartment next year if my new roommate is willing ;)




Weimar
Historical:
Known for being the home base for both Goethe and Schiller. The Buchenwald concentration camp is also situated nearby, but we didn't go there.
Favorites:

• I got Goethe's "Faust" in a bookstore there (even though I have no idea whether I even like Goethe's works, but I'm romantic like that). The cash register was one of those old ones with buttons like an old type writer and made of wood.
• A&U brought me to this gorgeous timber frame restaurant and I had the BEST dark beer of my life (sadly, nothing will ever come close, and I don't know if I'll ever find anything comparable in Canada...): Kostriker. Yummm!
• U was so cute when we took this picture, "Three great writers, Goethe, Schiller and Zarah!!!" (you know I was loving every second of it)
  

My favorite writer right now...

... is a blogger.

Am mortified (in a snobby literary way) but its true. I've never read anything online like this woman's blog, I just got page after page after page. Of course, you know which one it is - the blog of Belle de Jour, the London call girl. She writes how I want (hope!) to write, of everyday (and not so everyday) things, sometimes poetic, other times funny, or just plain raunchy, hahaha. I like that about blogs, you're reading about the change of character in the author rather than fictional puppets. It makes them so much more relatable - knowing that somewhere out there this person is living their life just like you are.

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On another note, this made me fill up with pride - even though I'm not American, but I guess it doesn't matter. He's got big shoes to fill.

[I'm afraid I saved this a while ago and neglected to note where I got it from the internet - sorry for pilfering your photo, whoever you are]

BERLIN BABY!!!

Several weeks late, but better than late than never.

During our winter vacation, I was lucky enough to be invited to visit my German friends A&U for the second time. Staying with them was a little slice of heaven, like being surrounded by family and the familiar even though I was in a country that wasn't my own trying to decipher a language I've never spoken nor understood. I think Germany will always have a special little place in my heart for that. It lets you belong to a little piece of it.

[This picture is from when U dressed me up in her mountain climbing gear for a lark!!!]

Here's a little overview of the week
February 21st: Arrival in Hannover
February 22nd: Visit to Hameln
February 23rd: Visit to Erfurt and Weimar
February 24th: Further visit of Weimar and arrival in Berlin!
February 25th: Bus tour in Berlin
February 26th: Sad goodbyes with A&U who head back home, Solo adventures in Berlin begin
February 27th: Solo adventures in Berlin
February 28th: Catch the train to Strasbourg, surprise encounter with A&U at the Hannover changeover! and safe return to Strasbourg

More later.....

Inspiration and Breakthroughs

I haven't felt like writing in weeks. I don't know what it is. I feel like my creativity moves in cycles, just like people's hormonal levels. Usually the pinnacle of my creativity occurs when I happen to be reading, drawing and writing consecutively. And I need a good does of inspiration.

I find it kind of funny but the inspiration that triggered my newest cycle of creativity is a TV show called, "The Secret Diary of a Call Girl", a show based off of the novels of an anonymous writer, "Belle de Jour" who published a series of memoirs under a "nom de plume" to protect her identity and those of her clients.
[photo from Virgin Media, http://www.virginmedia.com/tvradio/galleries/drama/sex-ontv.php?ssid=10 ]

Here is the link to her blog (which prompted the publication of the aforementioned books):
http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/

I put it best in my diary, "...funny how the strangest things can inspire you. I think that would be the best and the worst part about being a writer - getting inspired...".
It'd be like having a job that necessitates you being addicted to crack except instead of narcotics you'd be addicted to ideas and literature. I'd be the most interesting addict in the world. On the downside when you hit the creative wall like I did for most of the month, it becomes a bit of a chore.

I like the way writing is going these days (though maybe for authors its become a nightmare), because so many people are writing blogs and learning to write - in a community rather than a little diary that gets tucked away in a drawer and never seen again. It gets me in the right frame of mind, of recording in my head the little moments of note of my every day life. Like my brother said, maybe its not as important what I'm writing about so much as how I write it. That's what it is. What I like about blogs. Some of the things people write about can be so banal, but its the personality that shines through that is intriguing, the way they describe those everyday events.

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I've had several breakthroughs over the past few weeks, mainly on how I feel about France.

I must admit, I'm still dealing with a copious amount of resentment with respects to being approached by random men basically anywhere I go. I'm not bragging, I've figured out that it doesn't really have much to do with how you look, but how you act. Despite learning not to make eye contact, not to smile, to ignore people as you walk through the street, and perfecting my very own version of the French I-will-eat-your-babies-and-then-smoke-a-cigarette-scowl, there's something I'm missing. There's a piece of the puzzle I'm still searching for, that will label me in their minds as "unattainable-and-out-my-league", and thus the being approached by bums while eating dinner and the poetry reading while I'm trying to draw outside will cease.

But last night a friend of mine made me see it in a different light. Instead of resenting my inability to spurn these individuals instantly (there is definitely a language barrier problem, as they never teach you in ANY class how to politely ask someone to bugger off - all I can think of in the heat of the moment is various French versions of "F*ck off" which seems a little excessive in most situations), I can, in a way, appreciate it. R was talking about how much of a great experience it was to live in a French city and learn how to deal with beggars, scammers (and in my case, men) since we're kind of sheltered where we both live at home. And he's right, what a life experience! Instead of thinking of how I love Canada so much more because I don't have to deal with those things, I'm going to enjoy France for the experience its giving me, for making me a tougher, stronger, and most importantly - fiercer! woman.
This pic is from my trip with A&U in Hameln earlier this month, but I thought it was appropriate in terms of my taking on the world ;-)

Blarrghhh

Technology is such a pain in the ass.

What did people do after big trips when there were no digital cameras, no internet, no Facebook? I've spent like 2 hours today getting all my photos together, organizing them, uploading them.... Basically doing an inventory of my entire week. And then I pretty much have to Blog about it too right (I mean, that is why I started this thing...)?
Seriously though, 15 years ago, you would have just dropped all your film off at the store, done your laundry, and maybe visit your friends like two weeks later to show them your pictures. We really do complicate everything around us.

I promise I will get to blogging about my trip to Germany and Berlin, but lordy what a process!

On a less exasperated note I ate the best dessert of my life just a little while ago, macarons from the nearby patisserie. She wasn't lying when she said they were good. I would gladly pay 5 euros every week to have 3 macarons every Sunday. Like eating a gelato and wafer poof that neither melts or crumbles.....

Totally Wackadoodle.

I've been watching too much Project Runway, because the title of the blog is totally stolen from "Suede" on the fifth season.... But it fits!

It's funny, I realized today that the way I think about the French has shifted drastically. I think at the beginning of the exchange I associated myself more with a European/French mentality than an American/Canadian one, but now I've totally flip flopped on the whole thing.

I don't know, maybe it was because compared to my friends I always kind of felt my family got a heavier European influence (whether from my parents or grandparents or whatever), just with cooking styles, eating habits, switching back and forth from English to French.... I still think that holds, we're definitely more European than your average Canadian family, but on my newly enlarged scale of what defines Canada and what is European, I now know that I'm DEFINITELY a Canadian gal, 100%.

Example of French ludicrousness:
We were just sitting in our "Savoirs culturels" class during our "pose" (break) and then this AIR RAID alarm comes on, which in itself is not that unusual (they test the air raid alarms the first Wednesday of every month to make sure they still work from WWII) until we realized it was neither a Wednesday nor the first week of the month.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APgSOmHGSiE&feature=related] Visit this link to hear what it sounds like.
The teacher tells us in this reassuring voice that its a fire alarm. Everyone kind of looks around nervously, but the teacher doesn't really pay attention. Then she starts rooting in her bag and in my row we're all kind of like, "Oh good, she's gonna call someone to see what's going on..." and then she pulls out some change for the coffee machine and just kind of flounces out of the room.
I was like, "What?!?!". Fire alarm going off, everyone is just sitting around, not doing anything, and this is what she does in the crisis moment, get COFFEE?!?! (So French if you think about it, pretty sure during the French Revolution while shit was burning down and people were getting killed some French guy was like, FUCKING SHIT, they burned the Tabac down, now I'll never get any cigarettes...)
Then a few students trickle in and tell us a few people went outside to go for a smoke and one of the teachers flipped out and told them not to leave the building.

So... when there's a fire alarm... you stay IN the building that's potentially on fire?

I don't care if the alarm's coming from the building down the block, if I can hear the friggin air raid horn going, I'm getting the hell out of any building that could potentially burn down around me.
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Like I said, they're a crazy people.

(Turned out the alarm was from the next building over, which still doesn't really explain why we wouldn't want to evacuate the place since we were next to it.)

The best part is their explanations:
"Nah there's no fire here, the alarm would be WAY louder."
"They make the alarms really loud so all the firemen in the city can hear it and come to help." (?! sounds... efficient...)

Anyway, this is by no means a criticism of the French, I think they're loveable in their complete ridiculousness. Like a little brother that is a pain in the ass and annoys the hell out of you but you still love 'em.
......... Kind of like Québec, really.Bahahaha so many people could be offended by this post. Please just read it knowing my tone is incredulous but affectionate. (And that les Québécois are only similar to the French in that they are both ridiculous in their respective annoying ways) <3